Friday, October 29, 2004

Ezekiel 25:17

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
If you don't know where this line comes from, then i truly must lay my vengeance upon thee.

Armed Revolution

As I continue discovering what a cool place Amreeka is, I shall fire away to this blog and let you decide whether its cool or otherwise.
Gandhi said it, John Lennon said it, tons of hippies said it, but will Dubyaman ever think. Hahaha i was going to say will Dubyaman ever think "of giving peace a chance", but then i realize that he is too way below the IQ limit for thought itself.
If you hear the speeches he makes, you are shocked beyond disbelief at his stupidity and if you hear the response and the applause he gets, you are certain that there is no such thing as a reality show.
Speaking of reality shows, they are a dime a dozen here and somehow, just somehow, all the hot chicks just have to be on these shows. Fear Factor is the tops though, hottest chicks and skimpiest outfits. And the cunning stunts are cool too......
Oh yeah, my guru now is the one, the only Howard Stern. This show beats everything. Its a weird show, where women come to be "evaluated" by our guru of everything Mr. Know-it-all and King-of-the-Not-So-Subtle Stern.
All he does is sits and evaluates, and its downright degrading to women. If i was a pro-womans lib guy, I'd be shocked and appalled. But Im not, hence im quite pleased that there is a show like this. These women apparently want to be there and take off their clothes, yes, you heard me perfectly, (un)luckily the objectionable stuff is blotted out by the editing crew
,hence we the (un)fortunate audience dont see much at all.
The saving grace of American TV is MTV. Yes, finally a return to the golden days of MTV, the way i grew up on it.
NO HINDI SHIT CRAP BALDRASH TRAILERS.
Yes, im completely happy without "Dhoom", "Dilbar Dilbar Dilbar, aaaaaahhhh Dilbar, Dilbar, Dilbar"
MTV here means Beavis and Butthead, Hip Hop and forgivable other stuff.
Another weekend, and finally we kick off football in Scottsdale, so all those EPL, Primera Liga scouts who dont know where I disappeared, please look up the road bible www.mapquest.com and find your way to Scottsdale Community Center on N Frank Llyod Wright Blvd.
Jai Hind.


Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Bloggers Block

Yup, thats it....for a myriad reasons, im literarily(thanks kunal!) constipated!
Stuck on the comode of words and passages waiting to be dumped on the unsuspecting toilet that is the world that foolishly waits for me to blog. I guess those numbers are down as well, it just doesnt help to be constipated, whatever the walk of life.
Just like the loo, i figured that if i give it a good enough push, something just might come out.
From the mails that a few folks sent, i figured out that everybody really hated the fact that i blogged about shit, well in the words of the great, the one and only and the phenomenal James Hetfield - "I don't give a shit"
Hahaha, hows that for a comeback.
Sujay pointed out that it is totally uninteresting to read about someone elses life, however exciting or otherwise it maybe. I agree, and being the not so generous types, i dont really enjoy looking at pictures of other people either, unless
1. they are close friends or family
2. they look really good
3. they or anybody else in the picture is naked.
4. they are manchester united f.c.
5. they are not snivelling babies that im not even faintly related too
This blog henceforth, will be dedicated to some musings about life, death and taxes.
Also, the metro thing, is freaked out....whoa man! i rode the metro (subway) in Los Angeles, and there is a chilling wind which comes into the station about 30 seconds before the train comes in and you know its coming....man the Wachowski's brothers know their shit. And if you didnt understand where that came from, remember the Matrix and how Smith threatens Mr. Anderson with the sound of inevitability.
Amazing, just amazing.


Wednesday, October 06, 2004

I is back!

Honester, fresher and faster , I is well back into the blog world to regale, entertain and confuse all the fools that step into the pile of $%^ that is my blog.
Why blogger? well why not?
I am now languishing in Scottsdale, Arizona and much about this place is rather inconsistent, so i feel at home.
Take for example, Walmart, massive store, WICK massive(as Ali G would say), size of a football field (also note, just becoz im in Amru land doesnt mean im going call it freaking soccer and that stupid thing they play where they run around with the oblong object football)
returning to my point about Walmart, let me give you the background for my trip to Walmart
I flew (yes, for the first time ever) from Mumbai to Singapore and zooming across the planet in a gigantic steelbird sitting next a huge fat guju diamond merchant who kept eating and spilling his food.
Airhostesses were hot, but the problem with the goddamn chinks is that they all look the same.
Landing at Singapore, I was surprised by two things (in the toilet to be specific)
1. The huge size of the toilet (not the seat, which was quite standard) but the area, enough to keep your luggage in, I guess
2. NO FREAKING WATER FAUCET!!!!!!!!

This continued at all the toilets that I encountered right down to the toilet in my current place of residence.
While I was willing to accept the discomfiture of toilet paper whilst in transit I refuse to allow this firangi trait up my ass when I can help it.
So I was in Walmart, and guess what - the whole big walmart doesnt have a tumbler. or tumbrel or lotta or mugga, as you like it, but you get my drift......
Anyway, i was always a cunning stunt genius and hence improvised as the cunning stunt genius' of the world do and bought myself a squeezy waterbottle and off came the lid to allow for easy pour.
I have been shitting happily ever after.